it’s been a while
Actually something like 4 months now. Wow! Time does fly.
Been slightly unwilling to blog about my life recently, probably because there isn’t much happening, to be honest. It’s not like anyone really reads this anyway. Just re-read my rant-icious posts below and it’s slightly embarrassing.. but it’s always good to keep a record of your thoughts I guess! Things have been pretty much the same, same sort of dilemmas I’ve been having since I have previously written about, uni and life shit. Mother still being herself (i.e. annoying / pushy) but really she’s probably only worried about me… I really don’t understand it though I mean if she has already decided waaay before this to send me away to somewhere where she basically has no control over my work ethic but yet I can still do fine at school I think she should have realised by now that she shouldn’t be imposing “revision time” on my when I’m at home because if she really knew me she’d know that I’d do it in my time anyway…
Brrrr. It’s February and HK is still cold, I am in full pyjama gear, complete with contrasting print tartan trousers… phail. Our heaters don’t seem to be working very well because I am still cold and only sitting a metre away from our metre high heater ting. Got exams to study for, bog standard sort of thing but only a week to learn almost 2 terms worth of work and be able to regurgitate it in timed conditions in less than 7 days time… UM. My back-to-back 3 h exams are going to be killer.
Looking forward to when things warm up a bit around here… I am heading out to Bangkok for a long weekend in Easter for some sunning and relaxing, will be bringing along another disposable for some Buddhist inspired photography… lies really, just being the tourist that I am.
Strange but I had an urge to do sit ups and arm slimming exercises today (credits to Brendan from the gym for teaching me… he told me it would get rid of my “chicken wings”… thanks mate, much appreciated), probably in anticipation of today’s bubble tea that I have already planned on getting since last night when I was up at the inhumane hour of 12 writing about ancient philosophy. 405 words / ~2000 (projected amount I will probably have to write), I have only written the BS opening to it on how ancient philosophy has been passed down and throughout the ages and how it’s just so important etc…. I have not re-read it since then but I have a feeling that under the influence of Asian herbal sleeping pills and MOS’s Annual 2011 club electro dubstep trance soundtrack I wouldn’t have written anything that actually makes sense… Morpheus is going to have a good time reading my essay.
I have just realised how dependent we are on the Internet.. it’s absolutely ridiculous. In the whole week that I have went through without proper wireless connection and only a scrappy PC connection on an aging desktop that breaks off halfway through the day and requires constant PCCW staff attention I nearly died because I couldn’t use the computer in my room in the middle of the night. Hortensius I really have missed you quite a bit..
Anyway other than that nothing much has happened in my life. Went to a theme park to celebrate Halloween, which was fun. Slightly disturbing though to find that some men are still channeling the Lee Jun-ki look from his drama 3 years ago. Let’s move on… you don’t wear a dangly cross on your left ear any more, you should be wearing a large diamante stud.
Given the lack of internet connectivity I have also been watching a considerably larger amount of afternoon television… Everyone loves a bit of rom-com / love interest in a drama, but seriously it baffles to me to think how close romance on telly is to what actually happens in real life. In a conversation with a national of Korea I have already deduced that well off people in Korea do not actually have tan coloured paisley wall paper and (fake) Impressionist paintings in golden frames hanging off their walls in their neo-classical decorated living rooms, so telly romance is probably as fake as their Victorian couch. It leaves us slightly disappointed if anything with love but maybe it gives other people hope? The more hopeful of us would come under the expectation that there is someone out there who is perfect for us and who cares about us (or well sometime in the future) but the rest of us probably wouldn’t be as hopeful (feelings of dejection.. hm). Having only met a few optimists I do think “love” tends to leave us disappointed and it’s a real feat to be able to stand up and say “at least I was once happy” since most people tend to wallow away in their sorrows and pent up their anger until they can find someone else to spill it on. Anyway let’s stay young and cheery and given the number of young couples that I have noticed lurking around the streets of the city there probably is someone that would at least want to spend some time with you.
School soon and I have had a very unproductive 2 weeks at home… until Christmas then! Some excitement with the longer holidays and the prospects of skiing in Japan… shopping and eating etc in Tokyo to follow before returning home.
Excuse me as I write (perhaps “rant” is the wrong sort of verb for this.. I am not exactly very angry here). I don’t think anyone really reads this anyway, but it’s good to get it out sometimes.
One might actually ask oneself sometimes if they actually cared. Maybe reading something thought provoking with some rubbish dubstep playing in the background can just make you realise how much you don’t know someone. Or maybe how much you don’t even want to know this someone any more, as you feel the gap between you grow larger as the actual distance you are from each other is longer. In any case inner musings are always rather revealing if not very, and I sort of have to ask myself now if I’m actually a valued person to be around… Hmmm. But to what extent is it true that it’s only the people you really see that often that you count as important? If you start losing contact does that immediately make you someone who is less genuinely nice? Some things worth pondering over…
Also the increasing urge from the rentals (actually no, just my mother) about what I want to do in uni. How the hell do they expect me to know when I am only at the age of 16, embarking on my 6th week of my A level studies?! This is absolutely absurd. I managed to have a fight with the mother over Law on the phone a few weeks back which ended with HER hanging up on me (and not vice versa) having been exhausted by my “pathetic excuses”. Not a word has been said since then but a meeting with the careers advisor has shed light on law one of the two possible uni choices I will be going for. Great going. What if I really don’t have any interest in it at the current moment? My mother seems to be ignorant to the fact that I actually do have my interests in mind (other than the whole practical aspect of being a “successful Asian”) and as much as I appreciate the fact that she wants me to be well off and get a good education etc I don’t really understand why I can’t deduce this for myself and I would need her to tell me what I should do.
If anything I have recently considered the possibility that my parents gave birth to me as some sort of investment for their retirement fund in the future. I acknowledge the fact that they might have done it for the whole procreation aspect, but the investment thing strikes me as the most relevant (and probably the driving reason). We may be past the times of field-toiling but I have a feeling projecting your child into the workplace and making sure they come back with a large amount of dosh is just a newer version of the old game. This is a dark, dark world.
I watched Agora the other night (mildly educational and very relevant according to my father) - cf the picture below of Max Minghella as Davus the smart slave. Great film, even though I did find the scenes with Rachel Weisz’s naked behind filling our large screen slightly daunting and very awkward (especially in the presence of your parents). A few things that I grasped:- Religion may start off being for good but it can be manipulated and misinterpreted. But what is “right” and what is “wrong”? WWJD? What would YHWH do? Should we even have religion? And finally, not from Agora but from a stroke during the incessant questioning that members of my RS class (please, dear members of my class, read a book before you ask another question), does God have to exist? Or did we just make him to explain for everything in life? Admittedly he does give people a purpose in their lives and having a purpose gives us a reason to exist and a reason to actually hang on, survive and reproduce etc.
Mm, I should return to some mathematical activities now.
SALVESERVUSDAVUS,PULCHERRIME ES…
pet dog
my previous baking attempts are making me very hungry…
wow.
Some times like sit, drink whiskey and draw lines. I tend to get carried away from time to time though.
i failed at a celebatory trip to an outlying island… oh dear. my life is so interesting. now procrastinating at home when i could have been eating fishballs in some sort of fish town. i don’t even know if i can be bothered to go down and feed my craving for a calorific cup of bubble tea…
probably not
i might make smores at home… tin foil, my lighter, marshmallows and chocolate biscuits sounds like something i’d enjoy on this semi cloudy day..
